Whew! A Sweet Husband’s Celebration of Life

We did it ! We had our celebration of life for Scott.

It took a village! Sasha organized everything and worked with the venue , rented all the sound and projection equipment and a u haul and her husband picked up an additional 10 tables and 80 chairs. My parents hired a caterer and arranged the food “ light refreshments “ which included salads, Aram sandwiches, lettuce wraps with various fillers, I don’t have pictures but the platters were beautiful and we had plenty to eat. I had an upstairs bartender who poured wine and craft beers and I also paid to open up the fully stocked bar no host bar downstairs (really cute bar) for anyone craving something more intoxicating. Noah, my younger son, has worked as an audio-visual technician and put together the sound system, Amps and microphone. He also spoke about two special memories he has of his dad. Jason, my older son and his girlfriend Daphne came out from NYC and helped set up food and tables along with my mom, her friends, my sister and brother in law and Scott’s two sisters and their families.

My son Noah speaking about his dad.
My son Jason speaking.
After filling two freezers with cookies, I filled the spare fridge with them. This was early last week.
I made soooooo many cookies

There was a lot little things that I really wanted to do but guests starting showing up a full half hour before schedule! Once I began greeting there was no time left to do anything….so, I wasn’t able to put a sign up explaining that the bags on the table were for people to TAKE cookies home in. I had no time to put out tongs for the cookies.

Before I knew it, the party had started and friends had filled the room. I went to show the cute bar area to some friends and by the time we made it into the main room, Brian was already singing. Here’s a link to hear Brian https://bwguitar.com.

The music was followed by speeches. Sasha was the emcee while both my sons and several others spoke. I’m including the speech by my older son:

“Hi Everyone,

I’m Jason. I’m one of Irene and Scott’s kids – brother to Sasha and Noah.

And yet, despite this, I’m not actually blood-related to Scott. I’m not a Schlesinger.

That said – you wouldn’t know it based on what Scott left me: a fabulous taste in music, an undying love for Bay Area sports, and a craving for foods I’ve been strongly recommended to avoid by my cardiologist. 

When I was five years old, Scott asked if I would be ok if he proposed to my mom.

To which I precociously responded, “Well, do you even have a ring?

After proposing to Mom, Scott came over and proposed to me as well.

In essence, he was marrying me just the same as I came along as a package deal with Irene.

In the act, Scott had also presented me with a little gold ring, as he knew that was apparently my principal deal breaker at that age.

Now, in no way was Scott obligated to suddenly take on a kindergartener in his life.

As you all know, he was an energetic and extroverted fun-time guy.

And yet he loved my mom so muchthat he took on a rambunctious five-year-old – what many guys would consider a burden, a cement weight on vitality.

But that’s the kind of mensch Scott has always been.

He never made me feel like a wet blanket on an otherwise fun and active life.

Rather, he brought me into his fun – introduced me to BBYO, good music and sports, and all the rest. So, no, I’m not a Schlesinger, but he got me pretty fucking close.

And he did such a good job with me that I realize, now, perhaps too late, that I very much took it for granted. I never thought to tell him or write to him — in a truly meaningful way — how thankful I am that he proposed to me and that he was who he was in my life.

Maybe saying it out loud to 150 of his closest friends and family will help make up for that squandered, absent appreciation.

But this is not a eulogy; this is a celebration of life.

And Scott is celebration personified.

I’m happy to say that in his life, he saw the Giants win three World Series titles; five 49er Super Bowl wins; and five Golden State Warriors championships, plus they were the reigning champs the day he passed. Pretty good. In a lifetime, I think he’d take it.

And I know we’ll all continue to celebrate him and he’ll be there with us for future celebrations, albeit clandestinely in our minds and collective spirit.

So cheers to Scott, who waits with Jared, Ross, Reva, Art, and other loved family and friends, for us to see his grinning smile, feel his warmth, and, should there exist a divine providence, celebrate with him once again. Love you, Scott!”

Scott & Jay, back in the day! 1988!

My younger son also knocked it out of the park but I don’t have a copy of his speech yet. Nobody filmed the speeches or took pictures so all I have is my memory.

I was pretty dazed by the whole day but one highlight was seeing my friend who had held her husband’s celebration of life at the same place years before. I told her that Tommy’s celebration was so joyful that Scott and I both said we would want to be celebrated at the place.

I have so much more to add but this was the essence of the day. I’m still decompressing but am pleased with how everything went.

Thanks for reading!

Party favors
Categories Artful embroidery

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