Hello Again,
Wednesdays are a place to start up blogging on a regular basis again. For now, it’s Widow stuff Wednesday which gets me back on a communication track. I’m going back to making art but not until after July 16th, Scott’s celebration. As you will read, I have been less autopilot and more focused on pushing myself back into life. I think a lot about conversations I had with Scott about mortality and afterlife . We even spoke about how we would carry on , should one of us passes…….We witnessed his parents aging and passing away from their ailments and all last Summer, my dad’s constant injuries from falling and his lengthy period of Covid brain triggered more conversations about life and death. Never expecting that either one of us would not make it through 2023, especially Scott. Scott was diligent about his dentist, eye doctor and his health. It was the crazy blood sugar levels that had him believe it was something fishing with his diabetes. Sometimes we would muse about which one of us would “go first”. An astrologer, years ago, told me (in front of poor Scott) that I would marry three times. Since, then, Scott was sure he would go first but I disputed that since Scott was always much more fit and active than me. I’m longtime overweight and not big on exercise or any kind of doctor. Still Scott insisted he wouldn’t want to be with anyone, should I ago first…. I don’t believe that he would stay single for very long. He was a nice looking fellow who was extremely social and retired.
I’m not looking for anything or anyone else. Last time I was single, I was freshly divorced age 28 with a preschool aged child. It was horrible!! Guys would date me for months then ultimately, decide they didn’t want an instant family. I was crushed a couple times but then came Scott. He was so sweet and happy. The first date was absolutely amazing and my faith in true love was revived. We married nine months after the first date. He was fantastic with my little boy and they got on from the get go. One of the last things I told Scott was thanking him for taking care of me and my little boy when he (Scott) was other wise a carefree bachelor.
There’s just a few weeks to go before Scott’s celebration. My daughter and mom went with me to look at the venue as neither of them has been inside.
I’m spending more money than some in my family are comfortable with, but it’s the money Scott earned and since he will never have a big birthday party and we will never throw a 35th, 50th or 75th wedding anniversary party for ourselves or go together on the river cruise like Scott wanted , I will spend the money here and see him off right. I would love to give details on the celebration for Scott, but I’m going to wait until after the celebration 🎉 to show ya.
In other Widow stuff, I sold Scott’s car and deactivated his phone. He would hate me to waste money maintaining either object. I hoped some dude in my family would take the car and sell it for me but no dudes wanted to and so, I entered the land of online car sales like Carvana and clunker junker. I answered some questions about the car, submitted photos and got quotes . Clunker Junker offered the most$, and the next morning , they came to pick up the car and give me a sweet check. I immediately got my car 🚗 nsurance lowered(phew!). Who needs dudes, anyways?
While I was feeling a concern that there is nothing to look forward to after Scott’s celebration, I received an invitation to attend the filming of speakers at TedxMarin. I went ahead and purchased 2 tickets which includes an after party with the speakers. They didn’t announce who is speaking but that doesn’t matter as much as the fact that I now had a thing to look forward to in September and I will treat a friend to come with me🥳
Right after obtaining my tickets, I received another invitation!! This is from friends who are having a fundraiser/birthday party at a music venue. If it was any other day, I might’ve passed but I was still feeling good about having just bought the tedx tix and this new celebration will be held in August. I already know some of my friends’ friends and should be comfortable.
The new bed is terrific and I am finally sleeping through the night .
Thanks for reading along, have a great week 💫
