And now we head to the end of June. I didn’t start any sort of project yet . Some days I shave zero motivation and energy to do much more than feed my son and the pets. Other days, I’m on the phone dealing with financial tasks and getting things done so I don’t end up on a Hoarders show.
The current main focus is on preparing for Scott’s Celebration of life. The venue, caterer and bar are all arranged. Later today, my mom, daughter and myself are doing a walk through and making lists of what more needs to be arranged. A family friend (a local musician) is providing live music on guitar and at last count, we have 5 friends who want to speak. At last count, we have 150 people coming and still waiting on a chunk of people to rsvp. My work to be done actually is somewhat creative- I need to put photos in the two slide show frames that I am setting up. Also, cookies
Because of Scott’s cookie love, we (his closest women relatives) are all making massive amounts of cookies for the celebration 🎊. We will provide favor bags so cookies can be taken home. My daughter put together a little pamphlet filled with some of our favorite recipes of his. The celebration is the only thing I have going on in my life .
In harder to talk about topics, I sold his car and deactivated his phone yesterday. I didn’t want to put it off any longer not just because of the expense but I feel crushed when I see either item as both were important to him in daily life. The buyers will be by to get the car tomorrow and I hope I don’t cry. The car is full of bad memories like stranding us on freeways, like not knowing how to start it when I was supposed to drive it home after Scott’s hernia repair. But, he did love that car and refused to give up on it no matter how many times the warning lights went on for no reason.
I’m on autopilot. It’s either shock or the anti anxiety medication 💊 or both. On the bright side, the meds are helping me- I have been driving around my town a few times lately and didn’t have any issues!
That’s what has been going on this week. I have had family and friends telling me to get back to doing some art. As much as I just wanna run away or hide and do nothing, Scott would be so disappointed if I stopped creating. I know I will start again, it’s just going to be very upsetting not to have his input and support.
Wishing everyone reading this a happy week.
Oh my! I’m so sorry….I guess one just takes their time to go through with whatever lies before you. Only lean hard on the Lord because He is near the brokenhearted and keeps every tear in His bottle. What a beautiful picture of him and what great ideas for his celebration of life!!!
You’ve accomplished a lot of hard things, Irenie. Good job. Just one day and thing at a time, Its so good you are reflecting on what and how Scott would want you to continue on. Especially with your art and dealing with all the issue which are now on your lap.
I know you and your family will have a beautiful and honoring celebration of his life.
Peace be with you all.